I call it the January blues.
This mixture of emotions is killing me.
Everybody seeks that perfect response, a response also quite unattainable.
Should I act remorseful?
Or maybe a sprinkling of humour?
Put on ignorant front?
Act bloody defiant?
A combination of all?
This all " let's-all-be-angry-at-reuben" phase is coming too fast and furious for me.
I apologise.
here, read again.
I apologise.
But how should I do it? Apologise that is.
How about putting a simple apology facade? Adding in relavant points that will appeal to the heart?
Or maybe.
A apology with a simple/complicated excuse.
Or most likely.
Just a simple sorry, with no facades or excuses.
It might work, cuz facades and excuses are risky.
Frankly, it's not mine turn to explode now.
So I can't..
Well, let everybody else explode now.
I've been very patient. A little more won't hurt.
However, one question lingers like a sour taste in my gut.
Why?
Why do they get angry?
THEY.
Judging from comments, and writings, and outside sources, here's a list why.
- They feel pain, hence uncomfortability, hence setting them on the brink of exploda-ville.
- Bad moods. They just got lambasted/scolded somewhere and jokes are not a good way of curing them.
- Fed-up. They're fed up of me as a friend and want to get rid of me, hoping I'll take the hint. Why else so many of them have found seemingly innocuous/minor reasons for anger.
- Fun. They all know my worst fear of angering friends and are playing a nice little sick cruel game to toy with me and see the various foolish attempts to make up. " eh he sorry le! I not angry la. But just play with him la, he scared one what. HAHAHA. Shd record sia! Funny le.
- Tiredness. Dizzy and lightheaded. Yet with still a surmounting task ahead, headaches occur and my laughter of them ain't no panadol.
- A collection of (1) and (2). Somewhere, something in their bodies is hurting and at the same time somebody's scolding them for something they did not do. AND THEN, stupid me comes along at the wrong time.
- A collage of (1), (2) and (5). I.e. My back hurts like hell, my feet feel like a steamroller went over them, my mum's scolding me for coming back late at 10. My sibling's pissing me off gamboling all over the place. I want to relax and lie down. I can't. I'm tired. Oh look! Here's Reuben... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. . .. . . .. .. . . . .. .. . .. . . .. . ... . .. . . . . . .. . . .. . . . .. . . . . . . . . WHAT!
- A joint partership of (3) and (4). Reuben is no longer wanted. " eh, he scared people angry right?" OK , I take first slot ar. Then You and you and you and you and you and you and you. ---- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Eh! he sorry le. Heck care him la .. Come play w him. His feelings? Whu the hell gives a damn?
NO REFERRAL IS MADE TO ANYBODY.
Or so I think. Would'nt do to have more people angry with me over my apology letter.
But my writings are mostly based on personal experience. So yea.
I have nothing against anybody.
I love all my friends!
Ah wells.
I hope nothing will go wrong.
But here, to everybody and anybody who I have ever offended, be it now, yesterday, tomorrow >10 years later, <10 years ago.
I am sincerely, earnestly, genuinely, really, truthfully, deeply, wholeheartedly, from the bottom of my very heart/soul and what not am.
SORRY
Sorry
sOrry
soRry
sorRy
sorrY
sorRy
soRry
sOrry
Sorry
Do forgive me.
And I feel better. Maybe february will get better. It's coming SOON!
Cheers!