I don't usually write sappy posts,
but this is different.
I think I was in disbelief in the hospital, when it became
offical, or at the wake.
It was only at the cremation.
and now.
Muttering to myself n making songs makes it feel hard.
It is hard.
I was worried about the state of my much younger cousins more than anything else and now when they're not here, I realise I feel something too.
one so imposing, and mighty, with wisdom and surely, he couldn't fit in that small coffin.
But he did, and we picked his bones and crushed them into ashes and placed in in an urn.
now he lies, gone.
and I just begin to see that I cannot see him again, in Chinese New Year, or at his shop, or in church, where he was
perpetually there.
He's gone.
this shows I'm still in disbelief.
Does it take this long?